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‘Twas the night before premier, and all 'cross the stageNot a techie was stirring, nor collecting a wage;
The costumes were hung in the green room with care,
In hopes that the seamstress soon would be there.
The actors were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While visions of Tonys danced in their heads;
And I in my T-shirt, with charts for the seating,
Had just settled in for a last-minute meeting.
When out in the house, there arose such a noise,
It was all I could do to maintain my poise;
Past the proscenium I flew like a sprinter,
In hopes that the programs had arrived from the printer.
The work lights were glaring on row after row,
And lighting the balconies above and below;
When what should appear to foil my plans,
But a set change enacted by a team of stage hands.
With a little old actor, so lively and stout,
I knew in a moment what this was about;
A classic performer with costume and props,
He took a deep breath then he pulled out the stops.
"Now, Oscar! now, Tony! now, Emmy and SAG!
I accept them all, cause I don't like to brag."
To the top of the catwalk! to the top of the stall!
Now listen up! listen up! listen up all!"
He was dressed all in formal, a classic tuxedo,
His voice rang out loud, as clear as Placido;
A stack of reviews he held in his hand,
He was clearly the chair, or someone in command.
His eyes -- how they sparkled! his moustache fresh waxed!
His nerves of raw steel could never be taxed!
His sly little smile gave nothing away,
And the tension he built, could not be allayed;
A stub of cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but held up the stack,
When he let out a laugh; the lights faded to black,
In the darkness I fumbled, got caught in the drape,
I cursed to myself for forgetting glow tape;
I sprang for the breaker, and threw it up quick,
I looked 'round the stage to find out the trick.
From somewhere I heard him, he was nowhere in sight,
"Break a leg to you all, and to all a good-night."
