Monday, June 1, 2009

Cease & Desist Letter for Monday

Monday
Dies Lunae

REF: Account # 06012009


Dear Monday:

1. You are hereby notified under provisions of Public Laws 110-468, also known as the Outlaw of Mondays Act, that your services are no longer desired.

2. You and your organization must CEASE & DESIST all attempts to bring an untimely end to my weekends. Failure to comply with this law will result in my immediately filing a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission and the Texas Attorney General's office. I will pursue all criminal and civil claims against you and your organization.


3. Let this letter also serve as your warning that I may utilize recording devices in order to document any encounters that we may have in the future.

4. Furthermore, if any attempt to introduce a Monday to my life is made by your agency after receipt of this notice, this will cause me to file suit against you and your organization, both personally and corporately, to seek any and all legal remedies available to me by law.

5. Since it is my policy neither to recognize nor deal with Mondays, I will consider this matter settled.

Give this matter the attention it deserves!

And have a nice day.


David A. Dunlap